Monday, February 27, 2012

My Review of The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman

The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman takes the concepts of the five love languages from his previous books and applies them to our relationship with children. This book is an excellent resource not only for parents, but for anyone who wants to have a strong and loving relationship with the children in their life. For those who have read Chapman's other books on the love languages, some of the material included in the book may seem to be repetitive, however, for those who are reading The Five Languages of Children and have not read his other books on the subject, I felt that most of the information included was necessary. The five love languages include; physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts, quality time, and acts of service.
While most parents love their children, there are children who do not feel loved because they speak a different love language than their parents are communicating. As discussed in all of the love language books, most of us show love to others the same way that we receive it. We can understand what our child's love language is by observing his/her behavior. How do they choose to show love to others? What love language do they seem to respond to the best? What love language do they seem to ask for they most? What do they complain about? When given a choice between two of the love languages, which do they choose? While all of the languages are important and need to be conveyed to our kids, most kids will have a primary love language that they prefer above the others.
While there were many helpful discussions in the book, I felt like one of the most important sections in the book was on discipline. When discipling your child, it is important to understand that if you discipline them by witholding their love language from them, it conveys severe discipline to that child. For example if quality time is your child's language, sending your child to their room for an extended time out alone is a severe consequence to that child. If your child craves physical touch, then spanking speaks a severe consequence to that child. If your child needs words of affirmation then you need to use caution when you use strong words to discipline your child.
I feel like this book is a must have for all parents. It is an excellent resource that I don't want to be without. I was provided with a copy of this book in exchange for my review but was not obligated to provide a positive review.

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