My Review of Give the Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson

The premise of this book is to teach us how to parent our children in a grace filled atmosphere. When we correct them, we are not to simply tell them not to do something because it is wrong or to praise them for their good behavior. Instead, when correcting or praising behavior, we should refer to the Bible and teach our children why it is important to behave properly. It is important for us to stress to our children that we are not able to be good on our own and that we have to rely on God for His help in every area of our lives.
I have to say that while the writing style of this book was not my favorite, the book did give me some really good food for thought. I felt that I got some excellent ideas out of the chapters and a different perspective in some areas.
One of the concepts that the authors pointed out that especially stood out to me was that many times, we don't feel that we need to extend "grace" to our children who are naturally more well behaved. The kids who follow the rules and don't tend to cause problems are not the ones that we necessarily think that we need to spend as much time instilling the message of grace into. However, as the authors point out, many times we raise our children to become "little Pharisees" who in essence feel like they are "good enough" on their own and don't need the forgiveness and grace from the Lord as much as our other children who get into trouble more often. The authors note that it is important that we convey the message of God's grace and how it covers our sins to each of our kids, whether they are a "problem child" or a "good child." It is only through the work of the cross that we are saved, not because we are good enough or have done enough good works. Our kids also need to know that there is nothing they can do that the cross did not cover.
I also was encouraged by the points that the authors made that, in the end, the burden of our children's salvation does not rest on our shoulders, but on God's. He created them and loves them far more than we do. At the end of the day, yes, we need to do our best and instill His Word and values into them, but at the same time, we have to acknowledge that they are individuals who will grow up and make their own choices. We can rest in knowledge that just as He was able to bring us into relationship with Him, He is more than able to do the same with our children.
Overall, I felt like I got some really good ideas and philosophies out of this book and I would recommend it to every parent. At the same time, as with any book that I read, I take what works for my family and "spit out the bones." I think the book gives some good guidelines, but obviously, most of us would adapt the conversations that the authors use to convey the points of grace to the children, and would use our own style of communication with our kids.
There are also some really helpful charts that help put the concepts in balance of how much dialogue to have with your child according to the infraction.