Life Doesn't Come With a Manual, It Comes With a Mother

With Mother’s Day coming this weekend, we turn our thoughts to our mothers and the role they played in our life. I was blessed with a godly mother who diligently taught me from the basis of Scripture and provided me with a solid Biblical foundation.

However, it is a sad fact that I am probably in the minority of children. Increasingly, the young people of our generation are left without the positive influence of a mother. Even if the mother is present in the home, many mothers have failed to pass on the torch of moral values and Christian standards to their children.

Think of this! We are among a generation that does not recognize what a mother is SUPPOSED to be! As young adults, is it now possible that when a mother shows up on the scene, they wouldn't know her? The lack of nurturing in their lives has serious consequences that cost us all. The media is filled with too many examples to name of women who do not set a positive example of what a mother and indeed, what a woman should be. They are critical but do not take correction. They want to lead in ALL they do but cannot follow. They spend tons of money but do not give. They criticize but cannot build anything. They want respect for themselves, but disrespect their husbands and fathers.
 

There is so much pressure on our youth to grow up too fast. Our girls are taught that they must be sexy with their clothes and makeup, have a cell phone, be on Facebook, and have a boyfriend, all before they hit puberty. Sadly, this is not an exaggeration.
 

Our youth are losing their innocence earlier and earlier. My heart has been broken so many time at the situations that our children, youth and young adults have to deal with. Not only are they abused in countless ways, they are exposed to adult situations and peer pressure that they are not equipped to deal with and they are faced with blatant as well as subtle attacks from movies, music, magazines, famous people, etc. that seek to break down families and the morals taught by the Bible. Lust, violence, profanity, taking God’s name in vain, substance abuse, dysfunctional relationships are not only a constant part of what is seen and heard, but these things are encouraged and celebrated. Is it any wonder that the people of this generation are lost and hurting?

There is a children's book entitled, "Are You My Mother." In this story, a little bird hatches and finds that his mother is not there. He does not know that she has gone to look for food. So he jumps out of the nest and goes to look for her. He ask different animals if they are his mother and of course, they are not. He is determined to find her. At the end of the story, a crane lifts him up and puts him back in the nest, where his mother soon returns. He recognizes her because she is a bird like him. 

We hear a lot of buzz about being a mentor. Lisa Bevere spoke at a conference that I attended a few years ago and she made a statement that has stayed with me. What I submit to you is that the people of this generation do not need mentors, they need mothers.
 

Mentors recreate themselves. Mothers invest their lives so that their children are better than themselves.

You cannot mother thousands. You can only mother how many you have capacity to invest yourself in. The sick heart of this generation needs mothers! Are you available?
What if we live our life as an example in front of them? What if when we are presented with an opportunity/invitation by one these un-mothered, we take the time and responsibility and privilege to mother them?

1. Mothers know their children.

Most of the time, I can look at my children or simply ask a question and know how they are feeling. Mothers can look at their children and tell when they are sick, even when other people could not.

You cannot invest in someone if you don’t know them. We need to know their thoughts and feelings. What makes them tick? We need to know them and be involved in their lives. Mothers are all about relationship. When you take the time to get to know someone, the message you are communicating is that you care about them.

Sometimes the people who need us to mother them are not the people we are the most comfortable with. They may not look and act the way we think they should. That is the very reason they need us! They need women who are living life God’s way to step and show them that there is a better way to live…God’s way.
 

In “Are You My Mother,”at the end of the book, when the baby bird meets his mother, he knows her because she is like him. They are both birds. It should be the same in the body of Christ. We should be known as mothers because of the fruit of our lives. We shoud be able to be trusted because we are exhibit love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, good wors, and faith in our daily lives.

2. Mothers set boundaries and limits.

Thinking back to the book, “Are You My Mother,“ we see some interesting parallels to real life. No one was there to keep the baby safe so he was free to fling himself out of the nest! He never saw his mom. How would he recognize what he has never seen? He jumped out of the nest because there was no one there to tell him not to cross the boundary line of the inside of the nest.
 

One of the things that I have read over and over in all of my parenting books is that even though they may act like they want to be able to do whatever they want, children crave and want limits. They want to know that there is a boundary line. It represents safety for them.
 

Similarly, we need to model a healthy Christian lifestyle before those that the Lord entrusts us with. We need to be the wives and mothers that the Bible tells us we should be. This is not saying that we have to do things perfectly, because all of us fail. But each of us should be able to bring someone along on our walk with Christ as we seek to know Him more.
 

We need to be unafraid to share what God’s Word has to say about situations that people are dealing with. We need to be lovers of the truth. People all over our nation have swallowed lies that the enemy has told them and our society is crumbling because of it. We cannot be ashamed of the Word of God and the truth that is in it. This is not to say that we need to stand on street corners and tell everyone that they are dirty, rotten sinners, because we all know that approach is only going to repel people. However, we need to confidently speak the truth in love, assuring our “children” that we are only telling them because we love them and want the best for them.
 

We also need to be consistent. Another parenting principle that I have read over and over is that children not only need boundaries, but they must be consistent. Our standards cannot change.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9

 

3. Mothers take responsibility.

Then, this poor baby needed someone to look out for him, he was willing to let anyone be his mommy. No one was willing to take the responsibility of caring for him. Despite the constant rejection, the baby bird pressed on, unafraid to ask the next one, "are you my mother?". He was asking are looking out for me? Are you going to be there for me? Are you going to help me have the tools I need to succeed in life? Do you see anything in me worth caring for? Finally, one thing took the time to return the baby bird. The mother came back holding food.
 

My mother often says to me, “You are just like me! That is exactly what I would have said or done.” And just as often, if not more, my husband says about my little girl, “There is no doubt that she is your daughter. She does ___________ just like you do.”  She stays up late and reads books when she should be sleeping...just like me. She gets excited about a bargain...just like me. She loves the home shopping items and is convinced she needs them...just like me.  I learned behaviors from my mom and she is learning from me.
 

Let’s face it. The young of this generation are going to learn there morals and their values from someone. We are creatures of learned behavior. If their mother is not present, be it physically, emotionally, or spiritually, then they are going to find someone or something to take her place. The world is full of people and things who are willing and eager to shape the world view, morals and character of this generation. As the church, and as women, we cannot afford to pass the responsibility any longer. We must be actively seeking people to invest ourselves in.
 

Titus 2:1-5

Titus 2:11-15

Luke 17:2
 

The Scripture is clear that we have a responsibility to invest in, or disciple, the younger women. This is not only referring to those younger than us in age, but also to those who are younger than us in the Lord. Each of us has something that we can share.
 

You may say that you don’t have anyone to invest in. You may think that you don’t have much to offer. Ask God to send you people who you can mother and invest in. Each of us has something to offer. God will use us if we allow Him to.
 

We need to be speaking life. The world is filled with negative messages. We need to be the ones who are encouraging and building up the young around us.
 

I know I began by saying that life doesn’t come with a manual. Actually, it does. It’s called the Bible. However, it is urgent and imperative that we have mothers who will embrace their calling and show those entrusted to us how to use it. Let God use us to be the mothers He needs for this generation.